Once upon a time in Penn…
Once upon a time, in a village far, far away, (just the other side of Springhill Bus Terminus), there could be found a dense, scary jungle. Hidden in the jungle was a little tumbledown house where there lived a lonely tiger. Although his house was tumbledown, he loved it dearly, and over the years he fixed the leaking roof, mended the draughty windows and replaced the rotten floorboards. And fitted an infra-red remote control lighting system.
One day, a pretty little pixie came to the jungle and saw the lonely tiger. What a tall, handsome tiger thought the little pixie. How useful he would be for reaching high things. And what a nice job he has done of repairing this little house. Although I think he has gone a bit over the top with all the electronic gadgets.
What a pretty little pixie thought the lonely tiger. I like her sparkly eyes and her cheeky smile. Perhaps she would like to come and live with me in my little house, then I would not be so lonely. Plus there is a mountain of washing up in the kitchen which needs doing.
And so the pretty little pixie came to live with the tiger and he was not so lonely. Together they cleared the jungle around the little house so they could grow their own food to eat. The little pixie sprinkled her magic pixie dust over the ground and soon things began to grow. First some courgette plants appeared. Then some squash plants. Which looked rather a lot like the courgette plants. Soon the entire garden was filled with courgettes which made the little pixie very happy. I don’t really like courgettes thought the tiger. But never mind, perhaps next year she will grow a real-ale tree. Or a
And so the couple lived happily together. The tiger reached high things and the pretty little pixie left them lying about the place. The little pixie washed the tiger’s underpants and the tiger put them in a pile ready for ironing. Life for the two became a team effort.
The tiger soon realised that they made such a good team, he thought they should stay together for ever. So he bought a big shiny ring, put on his best tiger suit and asked the little pixie to marry him. And the little pixie agreed.
They were soon married, and threw a big party at a fairytale castle for their friends and family, who travelled from miles around. There was a banquet of food and wine and ale, and everyone had a fabulous time dancing into the night. And everyone agreed that the twenty-one-tier courgette cake was the best they had ever tasted!